DWEEB:

Burgers, Beasts, and Brainwashed Bullies

by
Aaron Starmer

Delacorte Press, October 2009, 229 pp.
ISBN: 978-0-385-73705-0

Genre: Young Reader
Subgenres: Realistic Fiction / School
Reviewed: 10/30/2011

Reviewed by: Conan Tigard

Book Cover

Excerpt

Bijay

Eight years and hundreds of burgers later, the thought of Mackers was now leaving a bad taste in Bijay's mouth. Something sinister was afoot.

"Seriously, guys." Bijay sighed. "Have you thought about Mackers?"

"We have an assault here and you're yapping about hamburgers?" Dalton said.

"No, really, think about it," Bijay said. "Mackers started serving food on Monday. That's when kids started changing. Remember what Eddie said about the cafeteria? Mackers, the Idaho Tests, it all fits together."

"Sounds a bit like science fiction," Denton said. "If--"

Before he could say another word, there was a deep rumble in the walls. The growl was back.

"And what does that sound like?" Bijay said, suddenly defensive. "Sounds a bit horror to me."

Denton gulped. Then he nodded, conceding the point.

Bijay wasn't happy about it. Mackers was like a friend to him. He'd defend its name to anyone. He'd sneak it into his house at night, and when his grandparents were sleeping, he would scarf down the burgers as he watched movies on his laptop. He trusted Mackers. He trusted that it would always be the same no matter where he bought it, when he ate it, or how he was feeling.

Now his school was changing, and Mackers was at the heart of it. Bijay wondered how he could ever have been so gullible. He found himself panting heavily, his lungs trying to keep up with his pounding heart. He leaned against the wall.

"We all need to calm down," Eddie said. It was the last thing Bijay expected to hear from Eddie. "Did he, um . . ." Eddie pointed to Wendell, who was still curled up on the bed. "Get the computer going?"

Wendell didn't move or make a sound.

"We need a user name and password," Denton explained. "Useless without them."

"Don't computer guys just type away and then the screen fills up with a bunch of flashing letters and numbers and then, kablam!" Elijah said. "You're in the system."

"That's what someone would do in a Bourne movie," Bijay lamented.

"This isn't a movie. This is real life," Denton said.

Real life? Real life is being imprisoned in your school? Real life is your classmates acting like zombies? It was feeling less like real life to Bijay with every moment. He was surprised that there weren't hidden cameras watching their every move. He was surprised Jacob Wade wasn't out quoting everything they said.

Wait a second, he thought. Of course.

"It is a movie," he said excitedly. "It's all a movie."

"I wish it were," Elijah grumbled.

"No, really. There's proof that we're innocent!" Bijay shouted. "There's proof about Mackers, about Snodgrass, about everything. We just have to go out and get it!"

 

Synopsis

At Ho-Ho-Kus Junior High in New Jersey, Vice Principal Snodgrass has a secret plan. For his plan to be successful, he has to gather five of his eighth grade students and lock them up in a cinder block room beneath the school for a week until the following Friday. To do this, Snodgrass lies to the parents of the students, telling them that their children have all been accepted into Mensa and have gone away on a field trip.

Denton Kensington is a a recent transfer student from England. He works hard to get good grades and wants to return to England to go to college at either Cambridge or Oxford.

Wendell Scoop is big for his age. He is six foot six inches tall, six foot nine if you include the fro, and 240 pounds. He doesn't play sports, just video games. He loves computers and his favorite place at school is in the nurse's office.

Eddie Green is known as a spaz. He has endless energy and his mind is filled with trivia. Eddie loves to run everywhere he goes. He also has a hard time controlling what comes out of his mouth.

Elijah Rosen lives in a black world. He considers himself an anarchist, someone who doesn't follow the rules. He is a great writer and used to be best friends with the school bully, Tyler Kelly, until he realized how mean Tyler could be.

Bijay Bharata is Indian and enjoys eating Mackers Double Double Triple hamburgers. His main love is theater club, something his grandparents would not understand. Neither would they understand his love of eating beef, something Indians generally do not do.

Denton, Wendell, Eddie, Elijah, and Bijay are locked away under the school and forced to study for the Idaho Tests, which are a week away. After breaking out one of the cinder blocks, Eddie is able to fit through the hole and make his way up the wall into the school. There, he finds the cafeteria covered in used Mackers wrappers. He also runs into Tyler, who seems to be a lot nicer than he was a few days before. There is also a mysterious growling coming from inside the walls that none of the boys can quite figure out.

The boys must put aside their differences and work together to put a stop to Vice Principal Snodgrass' plans. But first they need to figure out exactly what is going on at Ho-Ho-Kus Junior High. The problem is that they can only work on this during the night when they are supposed to be sleeping. The newly anointed members of D.W.E.E.B. must find a way to solve this mystery before the week is out. Little do they know what kind of trouble they will stumble upon when they finally figure out what is going on.

DWEEB is a realistic fiction book written by Aaron Starmer. This is his first published book. This book is intended for readers ages 9 and up.

 

Review

DWEEB is fun-filled book aimed at male Young Readers. The entire story takes place inside of Ho-Ho-Kus Junior High and deals with a vice principal who has a plan to make all students into emotionless zombies. In other words, their personalities have been wiped clean and replaced with mindless robots. Why? This way the students behave and do what Snodgrass wants.

Right from the start, the pace of the book is quick. The main characters are very diverse and interesting: Denton is the negotiator, Wendell is the computer whiz, Eddie is the athlete, Elijah is the writer, and Bijay is the performer. Vice Principal Snodgrass is the perfect bad guy because he thinks he is doing something that will not only help the school, but will eventually help all schools. Little does he know how perverted his vision is. He cannot see that, but DWEEB does.

I must say here that I have worked in a public school district now for almost ten years. There is no way, in this day and age, that an administrator would ever lock students in a basement for any length of time. If they did so, they would be fired. So, I had to put this little bit of inaccurate behavior aside and just roll with the story.

For a first published novel, DWEEB reads very well. Young Readers will especially like the variety of main characters. Every chapter changes the point of view to one of the main characters. I did like this and found it to be an interesting way to tell a story.

Overall, DWEEB is a great story that I couldn't wait to get back to every day. If you are looking for a fun-filled, fast-paced, tense and mysterious story that will keep you reading late into the night, pick up a copy of DWEEB today. Who says nerds are worthless?

I rated this book an 8 out of 10.

This site was created and is maintained by Conan Tigard
2011